I've always thought this was such a weird story in scripture. For the record, I've never thought too highly of Jacob. I know that God's people are named after him ,but I've always wondered why God chose to be aligned with such a crooked dude. In this story, Jacob's making his homecoming after years of being in hiding. It appears he's staying at the back of the caravan because he's nervous about coming face-to-face with the brother he cheated who, by the way, wanted to kill him. But it's a homecoming nonetheless, so maybe all's forgiven. But just to be safe, he chooses to hang back and send everyone else on up ahead.
Out of nowhere, a man meets Jacob, and they have a good old fashioned "rasslin'" match? I know that's the first thing I do when I meet someone for the first time! They wrestle for hours and as the sun comes up, the man tries to get away and touches Jacob's hip, wounding him. But Jacob won't let him go, at least not until he gets blessed (there's the Jacob we all know and love). The man asks for Jacob's name. Jacob responds, and the man says, "Not anymore!" He renames him Israel-blesses him-takes off-Jacob limps away-and Jews don't eat hip muscle-the end! Like I said, weird!
But today I put myself in Jacob's shoes and I'm reminded of a song by Big Daddy Weave titled, "Audience of One". There's a line that caught my attention the first time I heard, and continues to echo in my brain: "...seeking your face, and not only your hand, I find you embracing me, just as I am". Do I wrestle with God because I want to be blessed or because I want to know him more. Is the reason I want to be with God is because I'm content to be with him or because I want something out of it? Am I only in this relationship with the almighty God only for what's in it for me?
Truth is, I regularly seek God's hand, but not his face. It's okay to want from God, but do I want him more than I want his blessing? Some tough thoughts to wrestle with.
So may you be like Jacob and wrestle with God. Hang on for dear life, and know that he will acknowledge your grip on him. And may we see that the prize for the match is already in our tight-gripped hands!
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